DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 30-year friendship with my neighbor was threatened when he sent my wife an overt text message expressing his feelings for her.
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She was flabbergasted, and responded by simply stating, “I love my husband.” He then texted back “I’m sorry.”
Now a week has passed, and he has not apologized to either of us in person or provided any explanation.
I reached out and asked him for a private conversation, where I asked if everything was OK, as this seemed very out of character. I said I was hurt but that our friendship was salvageable, and suggested he have a conversation with my wife. Maybe even apologize.
The apology never came, nor has any acknowledgment of our existence; since that day, we just uncomfortably pass each other on our respective driveways. Not sure what else we can do.
GENTLE READER: Nothing! You are seeking an apology from a man who already gave one, and an explanation from a man who has none. Or at least no reasonable one.
Miss Manners recommends you let him be mortified and move along in peace.
Yes, he made a terrible mistake. But had you not badgered him for another apology, and an explanation that could only make the situation worse, you might have had a hope of getting past it. Now it seems highly unlikely.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: As the driver, how would you respond to a passenger who constantly interrupts the GPS with “better” directions?
GENTLE READER: “If you know a better way, I am happy to turn off the GPS. But if we get lost, that’s on you.” Miss Manners recommends that last part be said with at least a half-hearted attempt at humor.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: During the pandemic, my neighbors both got COVID, and I took meals to them for three days. I asked if there were any dietary restrictions or any foods they just did not care for.
Now, my husband and I are both ill, and friends and neighbors are delivering food that I cannot eat, either due to food allergies or IBS symptoms (which I do not wish to reveal).
Since no one asked questions about our needs and preferences, I now have pots of soup that I cannot eat — and, while sick, need to.
Is there a polite way to say, “By the way, what type of soup are you planning to bring?” One friend let it slip that she was making cabbage soup, and I said, “Oh, cabbage and I do not get along.” She pleasantly changed the menu, though I felt bad.
Others, I fear, would not be so gracious, particularly the person who brought soup containing every type of vegetable I cannot eat. She simply said, “I am bringing you soup,” but that could be anything from clam chowder to chili!
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Please, Miss Manners, what should one do?
GENTLE READER: Avoid it altogether: “Oh, you are so kind, but I am afraid I have quite a few food restrictions and I don’t want to trouble you.”
If that does not deter these kind but misguided neighbors, Miss Manners suggests you make room in your freezer — until such time as you are well enough to donate the soup or serve it to someone else.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
