DEAR MISS MANNERS: I recently bought a fairly expensive set of deck furniture (sofa and chairs), which I use frequently. The problem is that there is always cat hair all over the furniture.
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I don’t own a cat.
I am severely allergic and can’t have cat hair anywhere close to me without taking allergy meds (which only lessen the symptoms, not eliminate them). My children are just as allergic.
I’ve seen my neighbors’ cat in my (fully fenced) yard every day, which is fine, since I’ve never had to touch him, and he generally stays on the outskirts. That’s the only cat I’ve seen in my yard.
Against my better judgment, I tried to clean the furniture with a roller brush, but the cat hair will not come off. I can’t use my vacuum, because then it would have cat hair inside it and I’d have to get rid of it.
I might have to throw away my furniture at this rate.
How responsible are my neighbors for this problem? And if they are responsible, how do I bring this up without offending them?
I just want to use my deck. I’m getting hives as I write this.
GENTLE READER: So many people use allergies as an excuse to avoid animals (and food) they do not like that Miss Manners thinks you would jump at the chance to use them legitimately:
“I wonder if there’s a way to keep Snowball out of our yard. Unfortunately, my family is severely allergic, and she got onto our furniture. We’re having real trouble getting the hair out, if you have any tips.”
At this point, decent neighbors would take pains to control their pet and offer to clean — or replace — your furniture.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: On many occasions over the course of my life, I’ve been approached in public settings by unfamiliar men who ask to know my height.
Without waiting for an answer, they say something like, “You must be at least 6 foot, because I am 5-foot-10.” These men are invariably much shorter than their stated heights, which further adds to the discomfort of the situation.
It’s happened many times, in nearly an identical way each time, and I am just as flummoxed for a response in my 40s as I was in my teens. How would Miss Manners suggest I respond?
GENTLE READER: “5-foot-10, you say? Weird. So am I.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 27-year-old granddaughter says most people her age have tattoos, and don’t even cover them up at work.
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Is this the new norm? I thought legitimate businesses made employees cover them up.
GENTLE READER: There are two things here that Miss Manners would like to avoid: finding out what you believe constitutes a “legitimate business,” and challenging workplace policies that have already been established and with which everyone seems to be content.
As long as the tattoos are not actively offensive and the employers are fine with it, Miss Manners is not getting involved. Think of the tattoos as a chance to see firsthand that this generation loves their mothers — and butterflies.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
