DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week, I overheard my teenage nieces talking badly about their grandparents’ upcoming 50th wedding anniversary celebration.
Related Articles
Harriette Cole: Our retirement worry is wrecking our marriage
Harriette Cole: I live with my sister, and her husband wants to make this deal with me
Harriette Cole: This is just how I am, and it might cost me a good friend
Harriette Cole: I came into some money and now my husband refuses to work
Harriette Cole: He doesn’t want my grandmother to live with us when we’re married
They were making fun of the plans and saying how boring it was going to be.
Their grandparents, my parents, have always been so loving and supportive, and this milestone is incredibly special to our family. Hearing them speak so disrespectfully about something that means so much to the rest of us was really upsetting.
I know teenagers can be dismissive at times, but their comments felt particularly hurtful given the significance of the event. I’m struggling with how to address this without causing a family rift.
Should I talk to my nieces directly about how their words made me feel, or should I bring it up with their parents first?
I want them to understand the importance of this celebration and to show more respect, but I also don’t want to create unnecessary drama.
— Show Some Respect
DEAR SHOW SOME RESPECT: This could be the perfect time for you to speak directly to your nieces. Let them know you overheard their conversation and that it disturbed you.
While you understand that teenagers would rather do things with their peers, you hope they will take their grandparents’ anniversary seriously and do something special for them to show their love.
Remind them that without their grandparents, they wouldn’t be here. Those two represent family legacy, and honoring them in this meaningful way will make them happy.
If the teens choose to mock their grandparents or attend begrudgingly, that will hurt their feelings. Ask them to show up with a loving attitude.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 26-year-old woman from Cincinnati. I started a new job a few months ago, and I’ve developed a crush on one of my co-workers.
He’s kind and funny, and we get along really well. I look forward to seeing him at work, and I think there might be a spark between us. However, I’m hesitant to make a move because I’m worried about the potential consequences.
What if I ask him out and he says no? Or worse, what if we go out and things don’t work out? I don’t want to create an awkward atmosphere at work or jeopardize the professional relationship we’ve built.
I’ve considered just enjoying the friendship and not risking it, but I also don’t want to miss out on what could be a great relationship.
Should I take the risk and ask him out, or is it better to keep things professional and see if he makes a move?
— Hot for Him
DEAR HOT FOR HIM: Slow down. A lot is new right now. Refocus on your job. Pay attention to your tasks and the goals of your role.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: It’s not fair that my daughter has to sleep in the hall. Should I speak up?
Dear Abby: I’m angry with my mom, and I want my dad to divorce her
Asking Eric: This mom at my kids’ school said I send the wrong message
Harriette Cole: Our retirement worry is wrecking our marriage
Miss Manners: I said no to my fellow flyer’s request. The next day, I felt guilty.
What you want to do first is to make a great impression on your boss and the team. Demonstrate that you are excellent at what you have been tasked to do and that you are willing to go above and beyond to support the work at hand.
You can continue to build a friendship with the man in question, but don’t pressure yourself or him to take it further.
After you settle into your job, pay attention to how the friendship is growing. You don’t necessarily have to wait for him to ask you out, but do wait to make sure you are in good standing at work before seeking out romance.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
