DEAR MISS MANNERS: I own a shop where I sell fine paper goods. After countless coffee spills and food stains on merchandise, I posted a “NO FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED” sign next to the front door.
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People still walk in with greasy pizza slices, drippy ice cream cones and overflowing cups of coffee.
When I restate my policy and point to a tray where they can set their food or drink while they shop, they glare at me and storm out like I’m the bad guy.
Is there a way to enforce my rule with no hard feelings?
GENTLE READER: Signs indeed hold authority — and humans can conveniently blame them when enforcing the rules proves awkward. Sheepishly pointing to one and presenting a parking tray for the offending food and drink is about all you can do.
Miss Manners hopes that if ill-mannered and inconsiderate patrons walk out, you may take comfort in knowing that the loss of a potential sale is less costly than a batch of greasy, unusable stationery. Your better-behaved customers will appreciate it.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve become closer to a friend in recent years. While I do not see her spouse often, when I do, he never seems to miss an occasion to say something demeaning about (or to) my friend.
Is there anything I can say or do to politely make clear that such comments make me feel uncomfortable?
I believe someone needs to stand up to this bully, but I suspect that’s probably not my role, and it could be insulting to my friend.
GENTLE READER: “Please be kind to my friend. I’m sure we all have our faults, but I adore her and won’t hear her being admonished. Now, Emmy, tell me again about your triumphs at work.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My siblings and I are in our 60s and 70s. I invited them all to a luxury cabin for a family reunion.
I asked for a range of dates so I could coordinate the accommodations and food. Five of my siblings responded immediately with their date ranges. One sibling responded later, and said she was delayed in responding because she had to check with her adult children to see when they could come.
I feel this is quite rude, as the invitation was not extended to anyone other than my siblings and their spouses. She never asked me whether the children could attend prior to responding.
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Would I be a cad to ask her not to bring her children? She reads your column and would heed whatever advice you might give. If I am wrong to feel she is overstepping the invitation, please let me know that as well.
GENTLE READER: Your sister seems like a kind and sensible woman — and not just because she reads and listens to Miss Manners.
If you reassert that this is a siblings-and-spouses-only event, she will no doubt understand. If not, you might remind her that if her children come, everyone else’s — plus grandchildren, possibly — will want to, too, and the cabin would overflow.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
