DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m really stressed and need some advice.
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I’m a 21-year-old business major working part-time as a cashier. I’ve been struggling to balance work, classes and studying, and recently I made a huge mistake: I cheated on an important exam.
My professor found out, and now I’m being dropped from the class.
I’m really anxious about telling my parents. They’ve always been super supportive and have high hopes for me, so I feel terrible about this. I need to explain what happened and hopefully get their support.
What’s the best way to talk to them about this without just making excuses but being honest about the stress I’ve been under?
— Facing the Consequences
DEAR FACING THE CONSEQUENCES: Go to see your parents. Tell them that you have been struggling, and you want to tell them what’s going on.
Explain everything that has been happening — including cheating on the test and the aftermath.
I assume you have to retake the class, which will cost more money. Talk to your parents about what it will take for you to get back on track and what support you hope to get from them.
Be clear in expressing your remorse for putting yourself in a situation like this. Promise not to cheat again, and seek out the academic support you need in order to continue on your journey.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been dating my partner for over a year, and we have a strong and supportive relationship.
On her birthday, she expressed her desire to take a yearlong sabbatical to travel and pursue personal interests, which has been a long-held dream of hers.
While I fully support her decision, I’m concerned about how this extended separation might affect our relationship. We’ve always been close, and the idea of being apart for a whole year is challenging for me. Additionally, my job responsibilities might prevent me from visiting her frequently during this time.
How can I best support her plans when my own concerns are overshadowing my thoughts? Can we still maintain our connection and keep our relationship healthy during this period?
— Maintaining Connection Through Distance
DEAR MAINTAINING CONNECTION THROUGH DISTANCE: A year is a long time and also a blink of an eye. It will likely feel like that for you as time passes.
Yes, it will probably be tougher for you because you will be at home living your regular life while your girlfriend is on a huge adventure.
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You cannot control what happens during this period, but the two of you can talk about what you hope for the future as well as what may happen during the next 12 months. Put everything on the table, including how frequently you hope to communicate and whether you will date other people. Talk through it all so that you have a sense of where you both stand.
It will also be good for you to take on a new hobby, pick up a big project at work or otherwise occupy your time with something that you can focus on rather than obsessing about her.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
