DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m really stuck right now and could use some advice.
Related Articles
Harriette Cole: I got in trouble at college. How can I tell my parents?
Harriette Cole: My co-worker is stealing, and I don’t know whether to report her
Harriette Cole: It’s her divorce, and it’s becoming my problem
Harriette Cole: I’m about to bar her because she won’t leave her pet at home
Harriette Cole: I feel myself becoming a bad friend
I’m 29, and I work as a babysitter for a family that pays really well, which is crucial for my daughter’s therapy bills.
The problem is that the parents have been treating me poorly — lots of verbal abuse and unreasonable demands. I’m concerned about my safety if their behavior escalates, but I also can’t afford to lose this job due to my financial needs.
I’m trying to figure out how to deal with the family or look for another job, even if it means facing financial uncertainty. What do you think I should do?
— Abusive Employer
DEAR ABUSIVE EMPLOYER: Whenever you feel stuck, take a pause. Be still. Review your situation and your options carefully, and look for a solution.
When we worry about things, it can be impossible to find a way out.
In your case, the good news is that there are many families that need babysitters and many that are willing to pay well. There is no reason you should stay in an abusive relationship of any kind, including one at your job.
Still, you must be strategic. Do your best to find a new job before you walk away from this one. Look online. Go to schools and post your information on their bulletin boards or do so online if they are set up with that option.
While you are still working for this family, find ways to speak up for yourself. When you are asked to do something unreasonable, push back and explain that it will not be possible.
When they verbally abuse you, step out of the room. Walk away. If they ask where you are going, say that it is hard for you to do your job when they are yelling at you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I inherited a vintage pocket watch from my grandpa before he died. It’s not just any watch; it’s got a lot of sentimental value.
One of my best buds visited me recently; he is a watch collector, and he offered me a pretty hefty sum for it.
I like holding onto it as a family keepsake, but I am considering cashing in on the offer.
I’m worried that it might feel like giving up a piece of my grandpa’s legacy, though I could use the financial help. How should I think about this decision? How do I balance the emotional value with the money?
— Family Heirloom
DEAR FAMILY HEIRLOOM: It sounds like you were not looking to sell the watch until your friend dangled a lot of money in front of you.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: My boyfriend insists this is the right way to eat, and it’s embarrassing
Dear Abby: Some of my old flings haven’t heard the news yet
Asking Eric: I’ll be staying in the home of a man who thinks I’m a thief
Harriette Cole: I got in trouble at college. How can I tell my parents?
Miss Manners: How can I not come off as arrogant about my hair?
First, I want to say that this person was not being such a good friend at that moment. Instead, he saw an opportunity and pushed to capitalize on it.
I highly recommend that you do all you can to keep your grandpa’s watch for as long as you can. Treasure it as the heirloom it is. Treat it with respect, and be of the mind that you would like to pass it down from generation to generation. Sell only if you think you cannot survive without the dollars it would bring.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
