DEAR MISS MANNERS: I loathe dogs, but I live in a dog-lover’s paradise.
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How can I let neighbors and strangers know that I don’t want to pet their dog or let it sniff me?
“I’m allergic” is dishonest. “I don’t like dogs” sounds like something is wrong with me. “Dogs just aren’t my thing” is not very clear.
I survived an abusive childhood where my parents sicced dogs on me, but I should not have to explain this.
I get it that people love their pets and consider them “family,” and I don’t mind standing around and chatting with the dogs present. I just don’t want to get closer.
What can I say that politely gets pet owners to, well, call off the dogs?
GENTLE READER: “I’m afraid that dogs and I don’t always get along. If you don’t mind, I will keep my distance.” We must hope that the implication that the dogs keep theirs, as well, is understood.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper response to someone who is very vocal when you are driving, and not in a way that is helpful?
For example, when I am driving us to a restaurant and we pull into the parking lot, they will tell me I could have used a closer entrance. (I may or may not have seen the other entrance, but either way, it really didn’t matter.) Or when parking, they will speak up about every parking space I pass. (I like spaces with adequate room around them. Plus, walking a little farther doesn’t hurt anyone.)
I have more than one friend who does these things every time I drive, and it is really getting on my nerves.
My typical response is a casual, “I know what I’m doing,” to which I’ll receive a somewhat snarky response about saving time. (Seriously, like 10 seconds?)
Is there something else I should be saying?
GENTLE READER: “Let’s make a rule: When I am driving — unless I’m about to run someone over — I get to navigate and figure out parking. When you drive, you can.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband insists on getting up to start cleaning the kitchen and doing the dishes the minute he takes his last bite of dinner. Often, I am still eating.
I have frequently asked for the 15-minute rule: no cleaning up, no doing dishes and no putting the food away until 15 minutes after everyone is done eating.
I work all day and often make dinner. Having to finish my meal with dishes clanging in the kitchen, the dishwasher opening and shutting and the refrigerator opening repeatedly is not relaxing.
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Miss Manners: I won’t answer my buzzer because of my neighbor problem
I have tried to tell my husband that it’s just bad manners to start cleaning up the meal when people are still eating it.
GENTLE READER: Yes, it is. But a 15-minute respite also seems extreme. Perhaps you can get your husband to agree to let you finish your dinner, at least.
Then, if he is going to offer to clean up, Miss Manners suggests you thank him (as he will undoubtedly have thanked you for making dinner) — and retire to another room to avoid all that clanging.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
