DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 25-year-old man who always makes a conscious effort to adopt a healthier lifestyle through better eating habits and regular gym sessions.
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However, my girlfriend tends to gravitate toward junk food and a more sedentary routine.
I met her before she fell into this lifestyle. We used to be so in sync with our health.
I don’t want to impose the old habits on her, but I find it difficult to stay motivated and committed to my health goals when surrounded by unhealthy choices at home. Furthermore, my girlfriend gets upset when I decline to eat out with her, especially when she suggests fast food options that don’t align with my health goals.
How do I find a way to balance my personal health journey in this situation?
— Healthy Living
DEAR HEALTHY LIVING: Have a serious conversation with your girlfriend about her eating and health choices.
Point out that you have always been committed to your health and thought she was, too. Tell her you don’t mean to hurt her feelings when you don’t agree to eat fast food or sit around, but that is not the life you want, and you are unwilling to do that with her.
Invite her to join you in becoming more active and making wiser choices about her health.
You are young. As you think about your future, consider if your girlfriend is the right partner for you. While you do not have to share all the same interests, it would be helpful to share similar values and goals around how you live.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 26-year-old freelance writer who’s been struggling to find a steady stream of clients and projects.
A few months ago, a friend generously offered to refer me to someone in his network; now they have started making demands for quick turnarounds and extra revisions beyond what was initially agreed upon. They often communicate the edit requests through my friend, so I feel unable to say no. He is a good friend, but he tends to be on the stricter side when it concerns work.
I want to maintain a professional relationship as I appreciate the referral, but I need to manage my workload effectively.
How can I address this client’s extra demands without jeopardizing my chance for more clients from my friend?
— Freelance Client
DEAR FREELANCE CLIENT: This is tricky. Since you were without steady work for some time, you may want to stick with the struggle and stretch yourself a bit longer to establish deeper ties with your friend’s community of clients. You may become the go-to writer because you are willing to turn around extra edits when others might balk.
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Yes, it may be challenging to manage, but I think it could be worth it to build the reputation of being the person who gets the job done no matter what.
You can also speak to your friend after your reputation of being excellent is solidified and ask him to help you establish some boundaries around workflow. Point out that you are delivering work in an effective manner, and in order to continue optimally, you need to manage expectations.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
