DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 32 years old, and I still don’t have my driver’s license.
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This has always been a sensitive issue for me, and while I know it’s unusual at my age, I just don’t feel comfortable driving.
My family has been patient over the years, helping me get around whenever I need it, but lately, they’ve been vocal about their frustrations. They keep pushing me to get my license and learn to drive, saying it’s time for me to be more independent.
The truth is, I’m really scared of learning how to drive. The idea of being behind the wheel makes me anxious, and I worry about the possibility of getting into an accident or making a mistake that could put myself and others in danger.
I feel like no one really understands this fear; they just think I’m being difficult or lazy. Every time they bring it up, it adds to my anxiety and makes me want to avoid the whole topic altogether.
I don’t want to be a burden on my family, and I know driving would make life easier for everyone, including myself.
How can I approach this situation so that my family understands what I’m going through? And is there any way to start building confidence to finally face my fear of driving?
— Fear of Driving
DEAR FEAR OF DRIVING: Facing your fears is wise, even if you do not become a driver. In this way, you can conquer whatever is troubling you.
My recommendation would be to take a driver’s education class to learn how to drive safely alongside an expert driver. This way, you can grow accustomed to the feeling of being behind the wheel and controlling a vehicle. It’s just a class, not a commitment to get the license.
If this seems too daunting, consider getting a therapist to work through this phobia with you. Even if you never become a driver, it’s good for you to eliminate the fear and embrace your abilities.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend told me some secrets from her company, then she mentioned that she had signed a nondisclosure agreement. I told her not to share the information with anyone else, as it is part of the contract she signed.
She replied that I was just overreacting and that no one would find out aside from me.
I’m concerned about the potential consequences if she shares these secrets. It’s important for her to understand the seriousness of the situation. I want to support her, but I also need to help her realize the risks involved.
What should I tell her to emphasize the importance of keeping this information confidential?
— Breach
DEAR BREACH: Sit your friend down and tell her you need to have a serious conversation. Tell her you appreciate how much she trusts you, but you don’t think she understands the meaning of confidentiality.
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Explain that it means she should not be telling you — or anyone else — anything covered by that nondisclosure agreement.
She may recall how easily secrets spread when she was a kid. One person would tell another something and they would promise not to share it, yet somehow it sped along a communication path until everyone knew about it. The same happens with adults.
When you violate an NDA, you run the risk of being sued, losing your job or both. Encourage her to keep protected information to herself.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
