DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a lifelong hospitality worker, and consider myself a great greeter in any scenario.
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A few years ago, at a new place of work, the phrase “Welcome in” was used as the standard greeting.
It sounded off to me, and somehow did not make sense. Since then, I have noticed the phrase “Welcome in” used more and more, with the same natural manner, as if this has always been the standard greeting — which I am certain it has not.
Is this a new, viral expression of hospitality? Or am I wrong, and my customer-service-battered brain has deleted this information?
GENTLE READER: It sounds to Miss Manners as if someone at this place of work passed through a German-speaking country and misunderstood what was being said.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 21 years old, and I have worked in assorted venues of customer service since I was 17. I am currently employed at a bank, and frequently a customer will ask a question to which I do not know the answer.
This requires me to leave the service area and ask my supervisor. Is it proper to say to my supervisor, “This lady (or gentleman) wanted to know …”?
The reason I ask is that referring to the person in question as “this lady” or “this gentleman” feels awkward and vaguely condescending to me, and I am not sure how it feels to the customers.
GENTLE READER: You are concerned about the formality, but using the third person about someone within earshot always feels awkward, whoever is speaking. And some will take issue with gender, as well.
Before anyone suggests to Miss Manners that you stab a finger in the poor customer’s general direction, she will suggest that “this customer” is a perfectly serviceable alternative.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a wonderful periodontist who has saved my smile. He is professional, charming and gentle.
His front desk manager is rude, repellent and very unprofessional. It is to the point where I dread going into the office and having to deal with that person.
I feel I should inform the doctor about the behavior of his staff, but am uncertain how to.
GENTLE READER: This is not so very hard, and will be a chance to use that smile.
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Miss Manners: Can I tell my wife not to discuss bodily ills at the table?
Be apologetic, factual and unemotional: You are giving an employer necessary information to use in the operation of his business. You are not blaming him, nor are you telling him how to run his office. And you are, of course, repeating your gratitude for his own services.
Miss Manners understands your concern that you are setting him up for uncomfortable future conversations with his employee, but assures you that those were going to happen eventually, with or without you. Your intervention may make them go more smoothly, because he will have more information — and they may happen sooner, before he has lost more business due to this individual’s behavior.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
