SAN MATEO — Barbara Bollier, a 93-year-old San Francisco native, said she only made valentines for one person: her husband. And even though he is no longer alive, this year was no different.
Barbara Bollier made a card for her husband who died four years ago at Sunrise of San Mateo in San Jose, Calif., on Friday, Feb. 14, 2025. (Shae Hammond/Bay Area News Group)
She lives at Sunrise of San Mateo, an assisted living facility for senior citizens. On Friday, in-home senior care provider Senior Helpers sponsored a card drive for residents to help alleviate the loneliness some might feel on Valentine’s Day. Bollier’s card was covered in heart-shaped stickers, and she wrote her late husband a message: “Happy Valentine’s Day (wherever you are).”
According to former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, loneliness, isolation and the lack of connection is a public health crisis in the country. This lack of connection can have physical health consequences, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.
“Social isolation can be very prevalent in the elderly community, so going to places where maybe their family is far away, just bringing that sense of connection to the seniors is important to us,” said Senior Helpers spokesperson Rebeca Gonzalez.
Senior Helpers employees provide in-home care for senior citizens by helping them with daily living activities. The organization serves people living on the Peninsula from San Francisco to Sunnyvale. Gonzalez said a branch in San Jose also serves communities throughout the South Bay.
At the event Friday, Gonzalez and Sunrise employees set out red and pink cupcakes and cups of ice cream. Gonzalez also brought cardstock paper, markers, glue and stickers for the residents to make Valentine’s Day cards. Some wrote kind messages for the employees, thanking them for setting up events, while others addressed theirs to loved ones.
“I think they’re doing their best they can here to make it a nice day, too,” Bollier said.
Gonzalez also passed out colorfully decorated cards that she had collected from friends who work with children.
Pilar Sabalvaro, resident, makes a Valentines Day card at Sunrise of San Mateo in San Jose, Calif., on Friday, Feb. 14, 2025. (Shae Hammond/Bay Area News Group)
“It is very thoughtful of you guys to remember people who are in the facility, and strangers at that,” said resident Pilar Sabalvaro. “We don’t know you, but I think you are very thoughtful of the older people that are in residence here.”
According to a University of Michigan National Poll on Healthy Aging in January 2023, one-third of seniors said they felt isolated, felt a lack of companionship and have infrequent social contact.
Bob Bliss and his father, Bob Bliss talk on Valentines Day at Sunrise of San Mateo in San Jose, Calif., on Friday, Feb. 14, 2025. (Shae Hammond/Bay Area News Group)
Sabalvaro, who resides at Sunrise with her husband, said she had “no choice” but to live at the facility, adding that it would not feel right to force her children to watch over her because that would be “selfish” and they have their own lives.
“You feel lonesome because the contact is different,” Sabalvaro said. “They’re busy, they come, they give the most they can, and I know that they give the best that they know how, so that is comforting.”
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Bollier said she doesn’t really feel lonely ever, but that’s because her family is “really good” to her.
“I’m lucky in that way, because there’s some people that don’t have that,” Bollier said. “If I hadn’t chosen to have a family, I wouldn’t have the family I do now.”
However, Sabalvaro said she took the offer to attend the Valentine’s Day event because of the community it provided.
“If you are by yourself at home, it’s very lonesome and there is no activity,” she said.
