DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had dinner with some friends, a married couple. We left the restaurant a few minutes apart and, as we were walking to our car, I told my husband the wife was “really intense and sometimes a lot to handle.”
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I didn’t realize they were within earshot. My husband said they probably heard me, but I’m not sure.
Can I do anything? I don’t want to apologize if she didn’t notice or take offense. But she is really intense and may be angry.
— OOPS! IN OREGON
DEAR OOPS!: Cross your fingers and wait it out. You will know whether you owe her an apology the next time you or your husband try to invite them out. If you’re lucky, she didn’t hear you.
Next time, wait until you’re safely in your car to unsheathe your claws, pussycat.
DEAR ABBY: My husband is an adrenaline junkie who loves high speeds and fast cars. I am the opposite.
I hate riding in fast cars, on roller coasters or anything adrenaline-related. I have explained to him many times that I don’t enjoy going fast in his super-fast car, yet he keeps asking me to go with him.
I’ll do it sometimes, but I hate it. If I refuse to accompany him, he feels rejected.
I have tried saying it nicely, but he keeps insisting I go on fast drives with him. I don’t know what to do anymore. Please help.
— SLOWER IN THE U.K.
DEAR SLOWER: You have already expressed your feelings. Your husband has chosen to ignore them.
If you prefer not to ride with your adrenaline junkie spouse while he puts pedal to the metal … don’t go! If he pouts because you are terrified, the problem is his. Stop making it yours.
DEAR ABBY: I need to live with someone because I’m on the verge of being homeless.
I have been in homeless shelters, and I have also lived alone, but I can’t do that again because it causes my anxiety and depression to act up.
I just started talking to this guy. We are starting to like each other, but we haven’t met in person, and I am wondering if you think I could move in with that guy after a month?
— NEEDS SHELTER IN ARIZONA
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DEAR NEEDS SHELTER: No, I do not! It would be a huge mistake to move in with anyone you have known for only a month.
If you think staying in a shelter until you can get on your feet and be independent causes your anxiety and depression to act up, it would be nothing compared to living with a stranger who might be abusive.
As you stated, you haven’t even met this person yet. A gamble like this is very risky, and I don’t recommend it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
