DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve always admired public speakers.
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I have a desire to sit on a panel and share my thoughts, but a part of me struggles with courage, and another part of me questions the authenticity of this desire.
Is it OK to aspire to be a speaker, or is that a role that should be granted to someone based on their professional or academic experiences?
— Public Speaker
DEAR PUBLIC SPEAKER: All kinds of people become public speakers. Ask yourself why this is a goal for you and what you believe you have to offer an audience if you were to take on that role.
I knew I wanted to be a writer since I was 12 years old. I used to write poetry and stuff it into shoeboxes in the back of my closet when I was a child. It took me 20 years before I published my first book, but I kept at it, fine-tuned my craft, worked in media, built a knowledge base on which to write — and then I did it.
Because I had that knowledge base and experience through my work as a magazine editor, opportunities arose naturally for me to speak publicly. Over time, I built up that part of my work, and now I speak to audiences regularly.
The same can happen for you. Choose a topic you love. Become an expert at it. Practice talking about your passion. Volunteer to speak to small groups about that topic. Over time, people will begin to trust that yours is a voice they want to hear.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently started a small business selling baked goods, and while I admire her ambition, the truth is that her products just aren’t very good, and they are extremely overpriced.
She’s constantly promoting her business on social media and encouraging friends to buy her cakes or cupcakes, and I feel guilty not supporting her. At the same time, I don’t want to spend my hard-earned money on something I know I won’t enjoy.
I also worry that if I buy something once, she’ll expect me to keep supporting her, and I don’t want to get stuck in a cycle of buying things out of obligation.
At the same time, I don’t want to hurt her feelings or discourage her from following her dreams.
How can I be a supportive friend without wasting money on products I don’t actually want? Should I be honest about my feelings, or is there a way to help in other ways?
— Bad Business
DEAR BAD BUSINESS: Ask your friend if she is open to your input on her business. Suggest that she gather a few confidants and have a session where you give honest feedback about the business she is building.
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With a few people in the room, it won’t be just your opinion. Sample the items she is offering. Be ready to provide constructive feedback. Note how her pricing compares to similar businesses.
Your input can be invaluable — especially if you offer it in a clear, loving manner.
Friends rarely are the people who keep other friends’ businesses alive. Candid, caring feedback is a way that they can help their friends grow and correct their course as needed.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
