DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you please publish a few short words on presenting a proper toast?
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Among millennials and Gen Z, the word “cheers” has become both a noun and a verb. I have heard “Let’s cheers to this” and “Can we do a cheers?” Watching young people do this, e.g., on reality TV, is cringeworthy.
In celebration, “cheers” should be an exclamation: “I’d like to propose a toast: Here’s to teaching young people manners and etiquette.” Then everyone raises a glass and exclaims, “Cheers!”
GENTLE READER: While she is always up for a good grammatical fight, Miss Manners still considers this a pretty minor infraction. If you take off the “s,” “cheers” becomes “cheer,” which is both a noun and a verb. She suggests that you pretend not to hear the “s” to spare yourself the cringe.
That young people are engaging in any formalities and celebrating one another at all is praiseworthy. To that, she will propose her own preferred toast: the Italian “cin cin.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in my office when I got an urge to go to the bathroom.
I hate to do this at work, because I work in a converted townhouse where the bathrooms are just one toilet and one sink, like in a house. But I had no choice.
I was sitting in there when I heard my boss outside the door: “Kaitlin, are you in there?”
“Yes. Why do you ask?”
“Mr. Warren is on the phone.” (Well, obviously I couldn’t talk to a client from that position. Imagine if I’d had to get up to check my desk calendar!)
“Please ask the gentleman to call back.”
“How long are you going to be in there?”
“Hard to say.”
Then a colleague walked by and started talking to our boss, still standing outside the door. It was like a staff meeting, except that I had other business to do. I just prayed they did not hear anything.
What should I do about this?
GENTLE READER: Find a more observant and discreet boss.
Barring that, Miss Manners suggests that weeks from now, when everyone has forgotten about this particular incident, you bring it up in a meeting:
“Just a quick reminder. Since we are in fairly close quarters around here, I would suggest that if we are indisposed and in the bathroom, we not engage in business.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I carry all of my weight in my belly. Since I’ve been 18, I’ve had to deal with people asking when I’m due or whether it’s a boy or a girl. It always makes me feel fat and unattractive.
I always tell them I’m not pregnant, just fat. Then they’re terribly embarrassed, and I find myself managing their emotions and trying to make them feel better.
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What can I say instead?
GENTLE READER: Just a tight-lipped, “Is who a boy or a girl?”
Self-deprecation is not necessary. Nor, Miss Manners uncharacteristically assures you, is making thoughtless strangers feel better.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
