DEAR HARRIETTE: My family came to visit me this summer for the first time in many years. We had such a good time together, but I fear it won’t happen again.
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It was expensive for everyone to come to my summer community — it was a large group, so they had to rent a house.
I treasure spending time with my family and want to figure out how to make it easier to get together more frequently.
My sister can afford to rent the house, but it’s a lot to ask for her to do it.
Do you have any ideas on getting folks together?
— Family Reunion
DEAR FAMILY REUNION: Why not start by talking to your sister?
Thank her for coming with her family to spend time with you. Point out highlights of your visit that made you all happy. Ask her if she thinks they can come again or if you should all consider alternate places to gather to be together.
Invite her to participate in the decision-making. It could be that the cost is of no consequence to her. On the other hand, she might have ideas on other activities you can engage in that may vary the experience and have less of a financial impact. Talk it out.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a big presentation at work next week that I am nervous about.
Public speaking isn’t my strong suit because I trip over my words. I often find myself getting sweaty palms, my heart races and I struggle to maintain eye contact with the audience.
It’s gotten to the point where I dread any situation that requires me to speak in front of a group.
This presentation is particularly important as it could impact my career growth, and I really want to make a good impression.
I’ve tried practicing in front of a mirror and even in front of my family, but the anxiety doesn’t seem to go away. I’m worried that my nervousness will show and that I’ll forget everything I’ve prepared.
Do you have any tips or strategies that could help me overcome this fear and deliver a successful presentation?
— Stage Fright
DEAR STAGE FRIGHT: Consider changing your attitude about this presentation. It’s not about you; it’s about the work.
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You have been invited to make a presentation that will benefit your company in particular ways. Align your thinking with your purpose — to be successful at coming up with and sharing a plan that will serve a client or your team. To do well, you have to serve the moment.
Looking through the window of service can dissipate the anxiety and help you refocus on the task at hand. Yes, you should continue to practice in front of the mirror so you can own the talking points, but in the end, your job is to get the points across clearly and enthusiastically so that others will understand and appreciate their value.
Breathe. Always know that you are talking to people who are just like you. Remember: You are offering a service.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
