DEAR MISS MANNERS: In my neighborhood, periodically, there are open houses. I like to go to them to see the layout of the houses and get decorating ideas.
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I always tell the Realtor that I am a nosy neighbor and just curious about the house. I don’t want the Realtor to waste time with me or walk me around. They always respond positively.
Is this rude on my part? My sister thinks it is.
GENTLE READER: Surely this would be an advantage for the seller. Others at the open house could meet a friendly neighbor, and you could spread the word about the delights of the neighborhood.
Is that the problem? Is your sister worried that you might put off potential buyers, either by annoying them in some way, or by telling everyone you meet that there are bodies buried in the backyard?
Otherwise, an open house may be considered open. As Miss Manners discourages guests from asking for house tours, and everyone from peeking into windows, this seems a harmless way to satisfy the curiosity people have about the way others live.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Something apparently shifted between my son’s college graduation ceremony in 2019 and my daughter’s.
While the audience at the 2019 ceremony remained in place for the entirety of the two-hour proceedings, this time, fewer than 10% of both the graduates and their attendees stayed to the end. In fact, almost all of the honorees walked across the stage to receive their diplomas and then simply left instead of returning to their seats.
This resulted in a likewise steady exodus of family and friends from the audience while other students were still being called to the stage.
Those of us still trying to enjoy the full ceremony — and those whose graduates were at the end of the alphabet — were forced to deal with people squeezing past our knees as they left the aisles.
Am I completely behind the times that I was horrified at the mid-ceremony departures?
GENTLE READER: It always puzzles Miss Manners when those who object to rudeness accuse themselves — however disingenuously — of failure to keep up with progress. You are not required to follow progress that is headed downward into lack of consideration for others.
To treat a graduation ceremony as if it were a commercial transaction, where the graduates merely pick up their diplomas and leave, is an act of disrespect for their own classmates. It would be sad if the class had to be instructed beforehand not to do so.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I handle it when, during mealtime with my husband and my mother-in-law, there is enough food for a second helping or so?
I will ask either or both of them if they would like any more (broccoli), and they will say, “No, I may have some later.”
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Miss Manners: Do we pretend we don’t see a not-fully-dressed neighbor?
This tells me that they are saying, “I don’t want you to have it.”
They never eat what is left after I serve myself a very small portion (so I can leave them some).
Should I just say it’s now or never, and go ahead and eat the last portion?
GENTLE READER: Yes.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
