DEAR ABBY: I met a young man on Facebook. He is a philanthropist, and we have been talking for more than six months.
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He’s kind and sweet, and he tells me he loves me. He works around the world as an interior designer and will be returning to the States in a couple of weeks.
The problem is, I’m 30 years older than he is. He has seen photos of me and thinks I am beautiful and a good woman.
I am stressed about meeting him because he wants a life together, even though I have shared all of my health issues. Please help me.
I have tried to end it because of the age difference, but he gets very upset, and so we go on. I do care about him. What should I do?
— WAFFLING IN GEORGIA
DEAR WAFFLING: Tread very carefully! Although you have communicated over the last six months, he may not “quite” be the person he has presented himself to be.
Make no commitments until you have actually met him in person. Hold on to your skepticism and do not give him money for any reason, because things that seem too good to be true often are.
DEAR ABBY: I’m dating a single dad with a teenage daughter who lives with him full time.
His daughter’s mother lives in the same town but rarely sees her. Mom does not want me to meet her daughter and offered the solution of taking her daughter to live with her.
Six months later, Mom has yet to commit to actually having her daughter live with her. Because of this, I am no longer spending time at my boyfriend’s home, and it’s driving a wedge between us.
We’ve been dating for a year and a half, and I’m now at my wits’ end. Help!
— WAITING IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR WAITING: Your boyfriend’s relationship with the mother of his child is not a healthy one. She doesn’t have custody of her daughter and she shouldn’t be dictating to whom the daughter is introduced.
Ask him if he still feels the same about you that he did six months ago. If he says he does, suggest you get couples counseling because it feels like his ex has driven a wedge between you. His response should indicate the direction your relationship is headed.
DEAR ABBY: My brother lost his wife of 30-plus years to COVID. Because we live several states apart and I have significant chronic health issues of my own, I haven’t been able to spend as much time with him as I would like.
I call often just to check in, but wish I could do more to help him through his sorrow.
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The first anniversary of her death is approaching, and I’m uncertain how to handle it. Any advice is deeply appreciated.
— CHECKING IN THE EAST
DEAR CHECKING: Because your health issues prevent you from traveling to see your brother, why not invite him to come for a visit? That way, you could be supportive, and he could have a therapeutic change of scene.
If that’s not possible, the next best thing would be to video chat with him, which would enable you to meet face-to-face from time to time.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
