DEAR READERS: I got resounding comments from many of you calling me out for my response to the woman whose husband was pushing her to try to have a son after she had already given birth to five daughters.
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I accept your input and want to share some of it now.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I couldn’t disagree more with the advice you gave “A Boy,” the wife who’d had five daughters with her husband, who still wanted to try for a sixth child because he wants a son.
You told her to ask her OB-GYN for advice, and if he agrees that it would not be in her best interest to get pregnant again, this should be enough for the husband to accept.
Harriette, the poor woman stated that she’s emotionally and physically exhausted! Why in the world should she have to get the support of her doctor to tell her husband she’s done having children?
This man needs to accept that he’s been blessed with five beautiful and healthy children, thank his lucky stars and stop being selfish.
— Enough
DEAR HARRIETTE: I felt compelled to share my feelings on your reply to the lady with five daughters whose husband wanted to try again for a son. Sorry, but you were off base.
Another pregnancy is something she explicitly does not want. Regardless of what the doctor says, there’s still a chance they will not have a boy. What then? More disappointment from the husband and a demand for child No. 7?
If having a son is so important, they should adopt, but I bet he has a fixation on passing his lovely genes down. She needs to put her foot down.
— Don’t Do It, Girl
DEAR HARRIETTE: The surest way to add a boy to your family is to adopt a boy! There are lots of boys who are looking for their forever family. Ask your god to guide you toward them in order to make everyone a happy, loving family.
— Loving Spirit
DEAR ALL: I get your messages loud and clear. My reason for recommending talking to the OB-GYN (which I clearly did not state well) is that it seemed this woman needed some backup.
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Harriette Cole: Am I wrong to smack a misbehaving 7-year-old?
Dear Abby: I gave my son your cautionary column. Boy, did it make a difference.
I assumed (which I shouldn’t have) that the OB-GYN would give a resounding no to the idea of another child. By adding that voice, she wouldn’t be alone.
Yes, she is exhausted in all ways, but I also got the impression that she was not fully prepared to stand up to her husband. Whoever she can get to help her would be great. Thank you all for chiming in to support her!
The adoption idea could work if this woman thinks she can manage rearing another child at all. A sixth being to nurture for the next 18 years or so is still a lot.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
