DEAR HARRIETTE: I have the privilege of working from home as an executive assistant to a veterinary medicine professional.
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My job requires me to manage a lot of on-call appointments and real-time scheduling, which demands focus and attention.
While I enjoy the flexibility of working from home, it comes with its own set of challenges. One of the biggest disruptions is my neighbor, who has a habit of dropping by unannounced.
Although I genuinely enjoy her company and value our friendship, these interruptions are starting to affect my productivity. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to balance being polite with staying on top of my responsibilities.
I don’t want to hurt her feelings or come across as unfriendly, but I need to find a way to set clear boundaries. How can I communicate this in a way that preserves our friendly relationship while ensuring I can focus on my work?
— Need Space
DEAR NEED SPACE: Get or make a sign that says “Busy Working” or “Do Not Disturb — Working,” and hang it on your door. Or, if necessary, lock your door.
Talk to your neighbor and remind her that, yes, you work from home, but you do have real office hours and responsibilities. As much as you like her, you cannot stop in the middle of your day to chat with her. You have to get your work done.
Ask her to honor your request that she not disturb you during the workday.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been friends with this guy for two years, and over time, I’ve started to feel like our connection might be more than just friendship.
He’s always been kind, thoughtful and supportive, and I really enjoy spending time with him. Lately, I’ve caught myself looking at him differently and wondering if he feels the same way about me. There are little moments — like when we lock eyes, share a laugh or have deeper conversations — that make me think he might like me as more than just a friend, too.
The problem is that we’re both shy, and neither of us seems willing to take the first step.
I don’t want to ruin our friendship by misreading the situation or making things awkward, but at the same time, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s potential for something more between us.
I’m torn because I value our friendship so much, and I don’t want to risk losing it.
I also can’t help but wonder what could happen if one of us were brave enough to make a move.
Should I wait for him to say something, or is there a way for me to express how I feel without putting too much pressure on him or our friendship?
— Timing
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DEAR TIMING: Be brave and go for it.
Invite your friend to do something that involves just the two of you. You know him, so think about what he likes to do for fun. Is there a festival or community activity that you two could attend that would be fun but not too intimate? Is there a movie that you’ve discussed? What activity would interest both of you?
Ask him if he would like to do this with you, and see how he responds. Since you are not asking him to date you, this can be a safe first step.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
