Dear Readers: Before I leave this space at the end of June, I’m taking advantage of my senioritis and re-running some of my favorite columns.
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The following Q&A is an example of a prank question that savvy readers enjoyed so much that it went viral. Honestly, I don’t know how I missed this obvious nod to a beloved sitcom, but I did.
I hope you enjoy this reprise of one of my favorite humiliations.
Dear Amy: I recently ran into a famous local sports figure at my gym.
I didn’t want to bother him, but much to my surprise he approached me. Turns out he knew me from my profession. He asked if I wanted to go out for coffee, and we exchanged numbers. A few days later we had coffee, and I thought it was pretty cool that he considered us friends.
Then everything changed. He told me he was interested in taking out a woman we ran into. She is my ex-girlfriend and we’ve remained good friends. He asked me a couple of times if I would mind if he asked her out. I reluctantly said no.
I made plans with him, and then after talking to my ex I found out that he ditched our plans to go out with her.
The next day he called me and asked if I could help him move some furniture. I barely know the guy, next thing he will be asking me to drive him to the airport. Two friends of mine warned me not to trust this guy. What’s the deal — am I being too rash or should I dump the guy as a friend?
– Feeling Foolish
And here is Amy’s response:
Dear Foolish: The good news here is that you won’t have to dump the guy as a friend because he is not a friend. He’s an opportunist who just keeps asking you for stuff. I suspect that when you turn down his generous offer to let you move furniture for him, you’ll likely never hear from him again.
[If you don’t recognize where the letter came from, here’s the full story — plus another prank letter that made it into the column.]
Dear Amy: I would like an objective opinion on a situation I haven’t faced before.
A while ago, we met and became good friends with a couple our age. We then introduced these friends to some of our family members whom we socialize with regularly.
We’ve noticed that in recent months our family members have started socializing with our friends – without us.
I mentioned this and asked my family members about it. They said that this happened accidentally.
I felt so silly and tried to ignore it. However, then I noticed when I scrolled through social media that it was happening more and more at planned events that we were not invited to join.
I commented on social media that we would have enjoyed being included and was promptly blocked.
It hurts, but what hurts worse is that this same family member also blocked my young adult kids, who were hurt by it as well.
I’d like advice about where to go from here.
I’ve thought about asking the family member why she would do this but I don’t want to start a bunch of family drama.
Suggestions?
– Excluded
Dear Excluded: First, a word about “blocking.”
A block on social media because of a resolvable issue is like throwing a hip-check when a conversation might do wonders. In my opinion, blocking over non-emergency issues (like this) has actually caused more serious problems than it attempts to solve.
Unless there is much more you aren’t revealing, the choice of your family member to then go through and apply this block to your children is ridiculous and just flat-out rude.
I need to add, however, that your own choice to lay open your own obviously hurt feelings on social media though your comment (where many others could see it), was also unfortunate.
I’m not blaming you for having these feelings, but Facebook is not generally a good place to reveal your vulnerability, especially to people who are both reactive and rude.
Dear Amy: “Perplexed” reported that she enjoys dining alone at her neighborhood bar and restaurant, but that she is often intruded upon by men who want to join her.
I have had the exact same experience. Like Perplexed, a man actually sat down at my two-top in an attempt to join me for dinner.
I’ve learned to place my jacket on the opposite chair.
– Dining Solo
Dear Dining Solo: Great solution – but I wish it weren’t necessary.
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Dear Readers: With my departure at the end of this month, I’m delighted to make way for your newest advice-giver: R. Eric Thomas, whose “Asking Eric” column will continue to foster the engaging relationship we’ve shared. Eric is young, smart, and a talented advice-giver – formerly of the Dear Prudence column.
Here’s Eric’s introductory column, and a new one from today. You can help him get started by sending your questions to eric@askingeric.com.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.
